Waiting for the Easter Eve

One month has passed since what happened in Freiburg (see here). This has been a rich month, in which I've started delving deeper into that experience, expanding and exploring its implications. Perhaps the most important step was the decision of getting baptized and officially becoming a member of the Roman Catholic Church. I see no other plausible alternative: my 'conversion' happened in a Catholic Church, and it included the clear realization of the essential role and nature of the Eucharist in the path towards divine Love and redemption. More profoundly, I also understood what so far escaped me all along: the community (the 'church', literally, the 'convocation' of all the people) is not just a fan-club, but an integral and essential part of one's path and an embodiment of what we (as collective) are striving for.

If all goes according to plans, I'll be able to receive the Baptism on Saturday 19th April 2025, at the Easter Even function (starting at 10pm) at the St. Joseph Cathedral, in Groningen. My mom and my best friend should be able to be present, and probably many others too, known and unknown, with whom I'll share this moment.

Until then, I plan to no longer update this website and retreat instead from the social media. I still have some work to do in preparation for this event. It's an inner work of study, listening, understanding, and cleaning, which requires silence, time and withdrawal. I'll keep my ordinary off-line life intact, but I can use otherwise the time that I would spend online, and also benefit from reducing the amount of energy that is usually sucked by social media.

I don't know yet what I'll do with this website afterwards. As it stands now, it shows the archeology of my life-changing transformation. I'm not abjuring everything, as I see quite clearly how certain steps (documented here through the years) helped me in getting where I am now. Yet, I also see the limitations and problems with those previous and now 'outdated' positions. This is not a big news, I already saw, at each station, that I could not stay where I was and needed to get somewhere else. Something was missing. Now, I know what was missing.

The skeptic within myself keeps saying: "well done, bravo! But, how do you know that in six months, a year, or maybe five, you won't be again elsewhere, moving again to the next thing in line to which you can 'convert'?" Of course, I don't know. I have no argument to prove a priori that I will not change my mind. But I trust that I won't, and I won't need to. If Faith is true (as right now I see it to be), then it's not up to me anymore. I'm happy to follow and serve Something that is beyond me, while encompassing me fully. And I'll be happy to go wherever They will lead me: "Not my will, but Yours..."

Thank you for reading, and for waiting. You can send your thoughts, if you like. And maybe see you out there in the world, or even in Groningen at the Easter Eve. It will be a great feast.

St. Joseph Cathedral, Groningen